I applied and interviewed because it sounded like a great opportunity to fill my summer up with something meaningful. However, I never thought more into it or prepped myself for what came. It was something I never expected nor imagined. Instead of working with strangers and creating a difference, camp turned into a family, a tightly knit group of people who had passion and an enlarged heart as apparent as an elephant in the room!
I never cried so much out of joy, compassion, and pain… sometimes it was difficult to hold in my tears because of the people that surrounded me these past few days. Every person I had encountered this past week has inspired, encouraged, and strengthened me emotionally, mentally, and physically!
Thank you for everyone who believed in me more than I believed in myself and thank you for the opportunity that each and every one of you has given me. ♥
I am just not satisfied with it. Time is running out and I feel more and more hopeless. Sometimes the thought makes me feel numb from my fingers to my toes, it runs down my spine. I try telling myself that passion and a kind heart will carry me through but every step I take forward makes me shrivel up a little more each time. It is a slow process that makes every part of me ache.
It is getting more and more difficult to tell myself that things will be okay; that things will work out; that if I want it bad enough, I will get it. Honestly, it is not that easy, it never was.
A few fighting words, a few self consolations, can only go so far.